I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
