Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
