As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
