I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
