it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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