i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
