well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
