We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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