Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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