Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
