I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
