i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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