? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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