she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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