is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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