Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
