its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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