we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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