I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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