So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
