I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
