I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
