he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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