I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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