I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
