so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
