I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
