all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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