her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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