He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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