oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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