I'm really into asian looking animals
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
