Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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