Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
