His pubic hair was longer than his dick
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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