I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I want to be your penis for a week.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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