How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
