I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize