Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
