Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Randomize
