Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
