Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
