she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
