i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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