Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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