i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
