Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize