so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
