Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
