also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
