now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
