please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
