He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
