WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
