I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
