I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
