dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
