The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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